Playing Hard To Get

Playing Hard To Get

By: Katia Loisel (c) 2008

Katia Loisel-Furey

Katia Loisel-Furey

New research suggests another approach may work better, writes Katia Loisel-Furey co-author of How to get the man you want & How to get the woman you want.

Should Women Play Hard To Get?

You’re sitting at the bar wearing your sexiest little black dress and winner smile, scanning the room nervously for ‘Mr. Right’. From across the crowded room you see him, immaculately dressed, an air of confidence surrounding him like a veil. A sexy smile dances on his lips as his eyes lock with yours, and for that split second you feel as though you’re the only two people in the room.

Blood rushes to your face like a tidal wave and you quickly look away to compose yourself. As you turn back for a second look, dress hitched up a notch and loaded with your best Angelina Jolie pout, a niggling thought stops you dead in your tracks.

If men are the hunter and prefer the thrill of the chase, shouldn’t we play hard to get?

How to Attract the Man of Your Dreams

If the world of dating wasn’t confusing enough, every time we turn on the TV or read a magazine we get different advice. So how does a single woman attract the man of her dreams?

A global study ‘Real People, Real Answers, Real Stories’ found that over 50% of men wouldn’t approach a woman if there was no sign of interest from them and that fear of rejection was the main reason they wouldn’t approach. In reality most men would rather do twenty rounds in a boxing ring than risk being rejected by you.

Selective Difficulty

Scientists have suggested that we favour ‘selective difficulty’. We’re attracted to people who play hard to get for everyone, except us, with 96% of men preferring the direct approach.

The theory of ‘selective difficulty’ was tested using a version of online dating. Three women were given their online matches. One was keen to meet all of her dates, the second played hard to get and rejected all the men and the third showed interest in only one man. 100% of the male participants in the study preferred the woman that was only interested in them.

Give the Myth the Flick

If you’re looking for ‘Mr Right’ and not a player who’s only after another notch in his belt, it’s time to give the dating myth of playing hard to get the flick.

Next time your eyes meet his, give him a cheeky grin and a loaded look that says “come hither”, count to four before looking away, then look back and watch as he makes a beeline in your direction.

For more information on the new book How to get the man you want & How to get the woman you want visit  or for more flirting tips visit