After being in a relationship and having been hurt, I stayed out of relationships for a long time because I was too scared of being hurt again. But it took me 20 years to realize that and I found out that was only hurting myself.

So the first thing that I had to do, was to make saw that I knew how to handle being on the relationship roller coaster. It was to find out who I was and what was stopping me from finding the perfect person to share the rest of my life with.

I went and started to go to many self development courses and started to have a look at myself, and find out what was stopping me from finding the right person to share my life with. Why I had hidden away in many different parts of the world?

Doing the self development on myself gave me the chance to correct many things that had stopped me from going out and having the loving relationships that I so much wanted. Things that were stopping me like: lack of self confidence or belief in myself - believing that I was not good enough. Believing that there was no one that would accept me for who I am.

These were all negative thoughts that I had in my head which played on my mind and stopped me from having a relationship for so long. But after going to some self development courses, meeting many positive people and learning how to deal with all the negative thoughts that were programmed in my head, and learn how to turn them into positive thoughts, that is when everything started to change.

You see, to have a great relationship, it all starts in your mind. You will only attract what you focus on. So make sure that you are positive in all your thoughts about your self. That Is what I did, and then the wheels of relationships started to roll

After I had got my mind sorted out and had got my confidence back and the strong inner belief that I was good enough for any girl out there and now knew what kind of girl I was looking for, I now knew that I wanted to get back into finding that some one special.

I had to seek some help from the experts. And because I was still working away in the bush, I never had time when I got back into town to spend sitting at bars trying to chat some one up and I was never one to find that some one special in the pub scene.

I went and signed up at a dating agency and they did all the hard work for me for a fee (of course!). When I came back to town I had some dates all ready booked. At first, this seemed ok but as time went by, I realised that this idea was not going to work for me.

You see, to build a strong relationship, you have to have strong foundations. Working away for 4 weeks at a time did not give us much of a chance to build a solid relationship, so something had to change. I decided that I was either going to stay single or I had to change the environment that I was living in which was stopping me finding that some one special to share my life with.

In the end, I chose to change my environment, and moved back to the city. This gave me so many more opportunities to expand my options and I also had access to the internet, which I had never used before.

So now that I had more time and I could explore a lot more options that had opened up for me and got to see many singles sites on the net. One of the first I used was www.rsvp.com.au , which is a very good site that I personally have had some great luck on. It is free to register on, and you can browse through the profiles of the people on there to see if you like anyone. With them, you only pay per email sent if you want to get in contact with someone. Other singles/dating sites have slightly different fee models. Just check them out to see what suits you.

I found that even though I had my profile up on RSVP, nothing seemed to be happening… until I uploaded a picture of myself and put that on my profile. Then, things started to happen. I learnt that if you do not put yourself out there, how is any one going to find you.

From being registered at RSVP, I was starting to meet many different kinds of women - who come from all different backgrounds. But we all had that one thing in common and that was that we wanted to find someone special to share our lives with.

One really important point is that when you use these sites, you also have to be honest with yourself and to the people on them .Remember, you are looking for that special person to go out and enjoy life with. As I found out some would say "Well we have most things in common, let's go out", and as I found out, that does not work if you haven't been honest, so be specific when filling your application out.

You must be as honest as you can and be as truthful with yourself .If you are large, put it down. If you are short, put it down. If you are average, put it down. Remember, it takes all sorts to make the world go round, and there are so many people that are looking for that special someone.

Do not be scared of putting your picture on the net. Like they say, you have to be in it to win it and if you have yourself out there for all to see, well who knows what might happen.

I have met many ladies through this way and have just grown in confidence each and every time - every single date is a learning experience. Some you may meet only once for coffee. Others, you might hit it off with, and get a second date. I have had many second and even third dates, but as time goes by, you learn what you really are looking for and just keep going.

I have now had someone find me and say all the words to me over the net that I would normally ask them. Like that I am looking for a relationship that is built on trust honesty love. It really has knocked me over and I am just so happy with how our relationship is forming.


So let’s just go over the relationship action plan that I have used over a period of about 5 years.

The first thing that I did was to find out what kind of person I was and what kind of person that I wanted to share my life with. I had to learn a lot about myself so that when I found that special person that they also knew how special I was to them and how special they were to me. Finding out who you really are is a must, because if you go in to a relationship not knowing who you are, how is the person you are with going to know who you are. If you want to build your life together, you have to start with strong foundations, and knowing who you are is the first brick

The second thing you have to do is know where you are going to look. Join a singles club (or a dancing club or whatever appeals to you, where you are likely to meet other eligible singles), and get out and mingle with people. There are plenty of ways to meet single minded people - look in the papers, look on the net, etc. Do not be scared to register at any dating site on the net - look for what you are after and just take the next step and do it. The more the world can see you, the more the chances are that someone will find you just like happened to me.

Third thing you have to do is always be honest and truthful when you are out with some one. If you want someone to like you, you have to be you, do not put on an act, as you will get caught every time. Relationships are built on trust, honesty and love, and if you have not got that, you won’t get anywhere. I learned the hard way and it cost me twenty years! Please don't take 20 years like me - it's all available to you now if you just take action.

The fourth step is take things slow. Don’t rush into things unless you both are on the same track. Do not take anyone for granted - each person out there is special in some way to someone . And the trick is finding that someone. Guess what - you will not find them sitting in front of the TV at home! You have to put yourself out there and make it happen.

It might be tough at the start - I know, it was for me trying to describe the perfect person that I was looking for. But I know when I filled out all my profile details about myself that I was as honest and truthful as I could be, and well… magic does happen!

I have written this action plan as a precursor to my books that I have wrote from my experiences as a single person and how and why I turned my life around and why I should share my thoughts with as many single people as possible. I would hate to see someone lose 20 years without someone to truly love, just like what happened to me.

I also have a goal setting book that I have written, with the condensed lessons I got to learn about from the many self development courses that I attended. Goal setting has helped me so much in achieving not only a great relationship but also a great life, so I want to encourage you to tap into the power of goals. Goals are just as important when finding someone special to share your life, as they are when you are trying to achieve other successes in your life (financial, physical, etc).

Check out my Goal Setting eBook on the Single Life At 45 website here:

http://www.singlelifeat45.com/products/Goal-Setting-Now-and-for-your-future.html