SINGLE MINDED - News Article

Author: Karen Milliner
Date: Monday 03 MAY 1999 - Edition 2
Publication: Courier- Mail Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Section: News - Page: 9
 

Cash-Rich, Time-Poor workers are missing out on more than close friendships they are finding themselves loveless. And the dating industry has never been stronger, although it may have changed a bit since you last looked. Karen Milliner reports.

KIM Ferrier is one of a new breed of TPEs _ time-poor executives with busy working lives. As a TPE he has little opportunity to meet people outside his existing business and social circles, which means he's not maximising his chances of finding romance.

So this 43-year-old, stockbroker bachelor is taking decisive action. He's signed up with a new Brisbane-based Internet dating and social club called G-Spot.

``I don't get the time to go looking for someone,'' he says. ``If you're always doing things with your existing social circle in the leisure time you do have, then you don't meet anyone new.

``Part of the allure with this is that I can join in the activities that are organised with like-minded people, have some fun, and maybe meet someone special.

``People who say they're not looking for someone are lying. It's an inherent need in most people, to want the real pleasure you get in having a soulmate, giving and sharing things.''

The Internet is the newest tool for singles, especially TPEs, who want to take their romantic future into their own hands.

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Already at their disposal are a plethora of options. Traditional-style introduction agencies have been joined by telephone meeting services advertised in newspapers and magazines, dinner and social events clubs, and personal consultants like David Newton, who runs seminars and workshops for singles around the country on ``The Art of Meeting People'' and ``Creating the Relationship You Deserve''.

Where once these services would have been considered the choice of the left-on-the-shelf desperates, they are now an accepted part of the social fabric of the 90s, and very much a burgeoning industry.

"By 2003, the number of singles is predicted to outstrip the number of couples," says Newton, 38, himself a successful single based in Sydney, who's "never short of a date".

"We live in a completely different world. Thirty years ago, pubs and clubs were the main opportunities for people to socialise and meet others. Now they represent only about 5 percent of the choices people have available to them".

"Those who come to my workshops and seminars are often highly successful in their chosen career field. They don't necessarily lack confidence. They come along partly, I think, hoping to meet someone nice, as well as to learn something."
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In the cyber market, there are now several Australian on-line singles clubs including www.catch.com.au, www.rsvp.com.au (the biggest site with more than 28,000 members), and www.greetandmeet.com.au. Brisbane's contribution, www.gspot.com.au, was launched a few weeks ago.

It is the brainchild of Michelle Sorrell, 30, David Teys, 40, and his fiancee, Linda Tucker, 38.``We've all had experience of the singles scene, the best and the worst of it, and we've felt there was a real need for something like this,'' says Michelle, who married when she was young, separated and spent about five years as a single before re-marrying.

``In Queensland, the latest statistics show that there are about three-quarters of a million people between the ages of 20 and 54 who are single.''

As well as offering G-spot members the chance to post their profiles and photographs on the Web, send e-mail to each other, and enter chat rooms, the club plans to organise regular outings and social functions where people can meet face-to-face, and list products and services which would especially appeal to upwardly mobile singles.

``Essentially we're a social club on a website which makes it readily and easily accessible. And we have the capacity to de-activate anyone on-line, anytime, if they're doing something offensive or improper,'' says Sorrell.

Ferrier believes entering G-spot's chatrooms will be a lot safer than venturing into the maze of uncensored ones on the Web. ``There's all those crazy people out there,'' he says.
He also believes going on-line is less threatening than fronting up to a traditional introduction agency. And less expensive. G-spot's fees are $20 a month.

Despite the bad publicity that has surrounded introduction agencies in the past couple of years, many people are still willing to give them a try.

Tina, a 29 year-old administration manager in Rockhampton, found herself isolated and lonely after her marriage broke up a few years ago. ``Everyone I knew was married with kids,'' she says. ``I didn't know where to go for social opportunities. I didn't really like the pub and club scene, so it was just go to work and sit home.''

But taking the plunge and calling an introduction agency was a big step. She had heard the horror stories circulating about some agencies.There have been several prosecutions of unscrupulous operators in Queensland in the past six months, and the Office of Fair Trading is investigating several more.
Last year, the office received 140 complaints about agencies, a 100 percent increase on the number two years previous. Legislation to regulate the industry is expected to be introduced into State Parliament this year.

TINA did some research before signing up with Perfect Match, which has been run by its founder Barbara White for 21 years.

``It was a fairly radical thing back when I first started,'' White recalls. ``People were worried about being seen coming through the door. I still get people coming in saying `I never ever thought I'd be using your service'.

``People can be fussy. They know what they want and don't want. And the fussier they are the harder it is.
``A lot of people have been matched successfully who I don't think would ever have been matched by a computer.''

In some respects that's true for Tina. She was looking for friendship rather than romance, and had a couple of dates through the agency before meeting her current partner, a 32-year-old self-employed businessman.
``I was very surprised that it worked out so well,'' she says. ``For me, it's obviously been worth the investment.''

White won't disclose her fees, but she says there's a sliding scale with the highest ``not even $2000''.
``You hear of agencies charging a lot more,'' she says. ``I had a fellow come to me about eight months ago and he said he'd paid $8500 to an agency and he'd only met two people in 12 months.''

She says many clients seek out an agency after they've failed with the less expensive services, such as telephone voice mail. To use this service, singles advertise their details in a newspaper or magazine column, such as Meeting Point. People can respond by leaving messages in a designated voice mail box, which the person who advertised can then retrieve.

Broadsystem runs the telephone service for nine Australian newspaper groups and says it has become increasingly popular, generating about $1.5 million a year in revenue.

For Margaret Dorrington, of Deception Bay near Brisbane, it proved a winner. She tied the knot recently with a man who phoned in response to her Meeting Point ad last year.

Margaret, 44, worked nights and found it difficult to socialise. ``I was on my own, the children had grown up,'' she says. ``It's hard for people in my age group to find a partner. I wasn't used to going out, being a single woman. ''

Margaret had about 20 men respond to her newspaper ad, and she went out for coffee with ``about three quarters of them''. Some, she says, were nice, but Russell Andrews, 47, a widower with two adult sons, was the standout. Their rapport was instant.

For those who find the idea of advertising directly for a partner too confronting, avenues to meet people are offered by special interest groups, such as the Social Movie Group and Dinner for Six, plus social organisers like MikArt Personal Consultants.

These services tend to be utilised by those who want to extend their social network rather than specifically search for Mr or Ms Right.

Tracey Wilson, manager of MikArt, organises group activities such as horse-riding, tennis, days at the races, even a clay-shooting day for her clients.

``We don't just have singles, we have couples as well,'' she says. ``The people who come to us want to try new things, and meet people that they're likely to have something in common with. We're not a dating agency, more like social co-ordinators. For singles, that takes a bit of the stigma off.''

Membership is $150 a year, with a $10 booking fee charged for each activity a member takes part in. This is often offset by discounts the consultancy is able to negotiate.

Wilson doesn't tend to organise dinners, because this segment of the social market is well catered for by clubs such as Dinner for Six.

``Membership is fluid,'' says director Annette Nyst. ``People sometimes meet someone, and we don't hear from them for a while, and they may come back.

``It's a safe, low-risk option, and there's no obligation to go to a set number of dinners. We've had a few marriages result, but we measure success more in terms of people making good friendships, be they male or female.''