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The Fine Art of Flirting
- By:
Andrew Bryant
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The Fine Art of Flirting
Andrew Bryant,
Speaker, Trainer, Coach
Author of 'The Street Guide to Flirting'
Are you a natural or a masterful flirt? Do you flirt for business and pleasure?
Take the flirting quiz and discover your FQ - your flirt quotient and then read on and be amazed at what flirting can do for you…
Tick the box that most applies to you.
Fill in the entire quiz BEFORE looking at the scoring.
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A
Never
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B
Sometimes
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C
Always
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Do you find it easy to talk to people you don't know?
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Do
you enjoy watching people?
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Do
you naturally give compliments?
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Do
you make eye contact with strangers?
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Do
you touch people when you talk to them?
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Do
you know when someone is interested in you?
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Do
you pick up ‘vibes’ from people?
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Can
you put a smile on someone’s face?
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Do
you follow up after meeting someone with a call, SMS or e-mail?
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Do
you answer a question with a question?
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Do
you know the right places to meet people?
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Do
you know when to flirt?
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Scoring
Give yourself 1 point for each time you answered A., 3 points for each B., and 5 points for each C.
Results:
12-24 Points
You are probably shy around strangers and not sure how to read people's interest in you. You may be taking life too seriously and missing out on lot's of fun. You should understand that the first person to flirt with is yourself and when you feel good you can make others feel good about themselves. You need to learn how to 'step in' to a flirting state by attending our flirting workshop so that you become more confident and playful around people - you want that don't you?
25-48 Points
You are fairly confident and a bit of a flirt but not yet sure of all the rules. With the right attitude and a little practice you can increase your circle of friends and your influence.
Give yourself permission to be more flirtatious and notice how much more fun you are having. I suggest you take your flirting skill to the next level and discover the subtleties of non-verbal cues and how to read people.
49-60 Points
Congratulations, you are well on the way to becoming a master flirt but beware of being dangerous! With great power comes great responsibility, use your flirting powers for good to spread, fun, happiness and improved self-esteem to all those you meet. You will live a full and rewarding life, however mastery in any endeavor takes constant practice and the master is always keen to refine their skills and learn new techniques.
Read on…
In Victorian times flirting was considered an art form, it was such a large part of socialising that young women being groomed for marriage were taught how to flirt using fashion accessories as props. The Men, in turn, were schooled in recognising the flirting signals of women. In today's sexually liberated environment do we still need to be taught how to flirt?
As an author of communication excellence and researcher into flirting, I have found that the first key component of a 'good flirt' is an attitude. The flirting attitude is about making other people feel good. By taking your attention off yourself and focusing on what is beautiful, unique or interesting about someone else makes each business or social interaction a pleasure. Paradoxically by making others feel special you feel good too and this leads 'good flirts' to have a healthy self-esteem.
The flirting attitude creates a state of mind and body that is energetic without being overpowering. The flirting energy attracts people to you and therefore increases the number of opportunities for business and pleasure. Good flirts get the best seats in restaurants and get upgraded when possible on aircraft.
Carl Jung said, "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there's any reaction, both are transformed."
Good flirts understand the chemistry that occurs between people of the same or opposite sex and they use this knowledge to communicate. Most people realise that communication is more than words; it's how you say them and all the body language that goes along with them. The next step in communication, that is less understood, is how your communication is received and processed by the listener. Communication is a dance that flows back and forth, flirts not only know the dance - they enjoy doing it. Flirting is about creating a connection between two people and once there is a connection -communication can flow easily.
So once you have the attitude, the fundamental skills of flirting are building rapport and creating a connection. Now you can do these things without flirting, the distinction is the heart and playfulness that flirting brings to the exchange.
The Victorians recognised a complex set of signals, is it so different today? Research shows that if a woman is interested in a man she will give a mixture of positive and negative signals, and today we have so many more ways to communicate - phone, e-mail and SMS (have you had any good text today?) so is it any wonder that people are confused?
Through my writing and my workshops I teach singles, couples, the young and the old the fine art of modern flirting and it gives me great pleasure to see them playfully apply the attitude and skills in their daily lives.
So, what is the very one thing you could do today to lift your FQ?
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To find out more about
Andrew Bryant and details of a Flirting workshop near you, please visit
www.flirting.net.au
Or read 'The Street Guide to Flirting by Andrew Bryant and Michelle Lia Lewis - available in all good book stores
Author: Andrew Bryant is a speaker, trainer and coach whose communication consultancy, Self Leadership International, works with big-name companies. Andrew is passionate about teaching the principles of 'Managing you Mind' for fun and profit.
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