Between Men and Women when Flirting
By: Katia Loisel
Men and Women when Flirting
Ever been to a
great bar or party and you are talking with a cute guy or girl? You
are having a great time but you just don’t understand some of the
signals that come your way, or if they are signals at all.
Some of the differences between men and women are quite pronounced
while others can be quite subtle.
Girls generally think about flirting a lot more than guys do, they
discuss all the nuances and fun you can have when flirting. Guys can
be more outcome orientated and less concerned with the process of
Once we understand how both sexes think and act in terms of
flirting, the easier it will be to understand why they act certain
Here are some differences I hope helps unravel the mystery.
1. Guys Want Results
Most guys ask for a quick step by step plan to get the result,
whether it be a phone number, a date or to approach a woman.
2. Women are More Subtle
Women can be far more subtle – girls can give off flirting signals
thinking they are waving down a guy like an air traffic controller
but the guy registers nothing on his flirting radar.
Guys don’t always understand girls like to be courted, to be chased
and want to cut straight to the action right way.
3. Self Awareness
Who is more self-aware? Before you leap too quickly, both guys and
girls generally have low self-awareness in how they come across.
Why? From my experience in flirting workshops the girls and guys can
both have low self-awareness. Not a problem though if you ask for
4. Raising the Eyebrows
Guys do it, girls don’t. Guys are used to raising the eyebrows with
friends so it naturally flows over to flirting. Keep this in mind
girls when you think he is just being matey, he indeed might be
flirting full time with you.
5. Women Love Flirting
Women think about flirting a lot more. We love to chat about
flirting, the nuances, the signals and the whole flirting process.
6. Men Want Autonomy
Women are happy to get help, discuss flirting and learn through the
exchange of ideas. A lot of guys rather digest information
internally and figure it out for themselves.
This does not however, work as well for guys as flirting is
definitely for more than one person and over analysis does not
7. Eye Contact
Girls tend to make eye contact far more than guys, unless of course
they really like the guy (that is a whole different subject).
8. Guys Think Opening Lines
Guys think in terms of opening lines and they want to see results a
lot sooner than girls. Tips is to know girls want guys to approach
naturally and honestly.
9. Girls Dress Up More
Guys tend to put less effort in dressing up and when they do it
shows. I cannot emphasise this factor enough when I see the reaction
when guys dress up at speed dating events.
10. Frustration By Teasing
Men get frustrated by women teasing, something that happens often in
flirting. Women also underestimate the effect this has on men. They
think they know, but I know from feedback they don’t always know the
The key to note here is some of the frustrations we get in trying to
understand the opposite sex are the very things that attract us in
the first place. The unknown, captivating part of them you cannot
quite work out.
It’s amazing since I started flirting workshops in 2003, I have
discovered so many differences between men and women, it’s
re-enforced not only how different we are, but also how enjoyable
these differences can be for guys and girls.
I hope this helps and wish you the best of luck.
About the author:
Katia Loisel has run Flirting Workshops since 2003 in Melbourne,
Australia and Speed Dating events since 2001
and is the owner of
www.top-flirting-tips.com - A website showing conversation and body
language techniques that consistently get results.