Differences Between Men and Women when Flirting

Ever been to a great bar or party and you are talking with a cute guy or girl? You are having a great time but you just don’t understand some of the signals that come your way, or if they are signals at all.


Some of the differences between men and women are quite pronounced while others can be quite subtle.

Girls generally think about flirting a lot more than guys do, they discuss all the nuances and fun you can have when flirting. Guys can be more outcome orientated and less concerned with the process of flirting.

Once we understand how both sexes think and act in terms of flirting, the easier it will be to understand why they act certain ways.

Here are some differences I hope helps unravel the mystery.

1. Guys Want Results

Most guys ask for a quick step by step plan to get the result, whether it be a phone number, a date or to approach a woman.

2. Women are More Subtle

Women can be far more subtle – girls can give off flirting signals thinking they are waving down a guy like an air traffic controller but the guy registers nothing on his flirting radar.

Guys don’t always understand girls like to be courted, to be chased and want to cut straight to the action right way.

3. Self Awareness

Who is more self-aware? Before you leap too quickly, both guys and girls generally have low self-awareness in how they come across.

Why? From my experience in flirting workshops the girls and guys can both have low self-awareness. Not a problem though if you ask for good feedback.

4. Raising the Eyebrows

Guys do it, girls don’t. Guys are used to raising the eyebrows with friends so it naturally flows over to flirting. Keep this in mind girls when you think he is just being matey, he indeed might be flirting full time with you.

5. Women Love Flirting

Women think about flirting a lot more. We love to chat about flirting, the nuances, the signals and the whole flirting process.

6. Men Want Autonomy

Women are happy to get help, discuss flirting and learn through the exchange of ideas. A lot of guys rather digest information internally and figure it out for themselves.

This does not however, work as well for guys as flirting is definitely for more than one person and over analysis does not always work.

7. Eye Contact

Girls tend to make eye contact far more than guys, unless of course they really like the guy (that is a whole different subject).

8. Guys Think Opening Lines

Guys think in terms of opening lines and they want to see results a lot sooner than girls. Tips is to know girls want guys to approach naturally and honestly.

9. Girls Dress Up More

Guys tend to put less effort in dressing up and when they do it shows. I cannot emphasise this factor enough when I see the reaction when guys dress up at speed dating events.

10. Frustration By Teasing

Men get frustrated by women teasing, something that happens often in flirting. Women also underestimate the effect this has on men. They think they know, but I know from feedback they don’t always know the full extent.

The key to note here is some of the frustrations we get in trying to understand the opposite sex are the very things that attract us in the first place. The unknown, captivating part of them you cannot quite work out.

It’s amazing since I started flirting workshops in 2003, I have discovered so many differences between men and women, it’s re-enforced not only how different we are, but also how enjoyable these differences can be for guys and girls.

I hope this helps and wish you the best of luck.

About the author:

Katia Loisel has run Flirting Workshops since 2003 in Melbourne, Australia and Speed Dating events since 2001
and is the owner of www.top-flirting-tips.com  - A website showing conversation and body language techniques that consistently get results.