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Courage Is Catching
Do you sometimes wonder why people respond so differently to the challenges life, or business, put before them?
Why one person complains if they stub their toe, or has a less than perfect day; while another individual confronts life threatening events, yet still keeps climbing until they’re sitting on the top of the mountain, glorifying in the sunrise?
Practice helps. When the doctors told me in 2001 they weren’t sure I’d live much longer, because of cancer, I was able to say to myself ‘I know how to do this.’ Because I’d transcended other disasters, I could transcend this one.
And I have.
So let me tell you some of the strategies I’ve used – and incidentally, have been passing on to other people for many years, so they could make it through those really bad days – and years – too.
First: Allow yourself to feel what you feel.
What do I mean by that? Have you ever had someone tell you ‘You look really well’ when you felt horrible? Did you feel misunderstood? Did you want to tell them they were wrong in their judgement?
What about when they say ‘Oh I know you’ll say such-and-such’ when they’re wrong? Do you want to scream at them – or at least snarl back? Because how dare they think they know what’s going on inside your head?
Or do people tell you ‘Oh, but you’re a strong person’ as if that’s who you are all the time, while you’re remembering the times you felt weakened by the burdens life had placed on you and you could have done with a shoulder to cry on yourself – just once in a while? Did you feel that because of their expectations, you weren’t allowed to reach out for support for yourself?
Does this all make you feel they’re not validating who you really are?
Once you learn to ‘allow yourself to feel what you feel’ you can cope with these situations; because you understand that they are the weak and invalid ones. By telling you how you’re supposed to feel, they may hope to stop you raising the issue of your own real life story, so they don’t have to deal with it.
What you are feeling has its own validity. Always hold to your own truth. Challenge them with a question back.
‘Why do you say that?’ is a good one. It’s quite fun to see the look on someone’s face when you challenge what they’ve been getting away with for years. (Aren’t I wicked.)
Second: Many people are afraid of change. But you can make it your friend, by a very simple method.. Next time you take part in a seminar, or take your seat in church – or even the dinner table, sit in a different place than usual. At the next conference you attend, make sure you don’t leave your satchel on the seat you’ve been sitting on, so that makes you go back to a different spot.
Since this concept was introduced to me years ago – and I tested it out myself, I’ve found that every time I’ve made this happen for others in a course or seminar I’ve designed and run, those concerned also find what I know; after a short time of using this exercise even large changes and challenges are cut down to size. You’ll be amazed.
Sounds too easy, but it really does work. We’re creatures of habit – and these habits undermine our spirit of adventure, feed our fear of change.
Once you begin to cope well with change your whole life expands, because the things others worry about become a non event for you.
Third: And this is the big one! Many people try to avoid ‘feeling bad’ by cutting off their emotions. Doesn’t work!
What does work is allowing yourself to ‘feel what you feel’ even to the point of really hitting bottom, so you can let it go. Don’t be afraid of the ‘bottom’. That’s where you are able to bounce back from. A ball can’t bounce back to your hand if it hasn’t hit the ground. We’re like that too.
And like the ‘water bomb’ some of us (not me, I was a little angel) loved throwing off the balcony onto someone’s else’s head, once they hit bottom, didn’t they burst? Our feelings are like the water that is able to flow out of the balloon only when it hits bottom.
Medical science has proven that the stress of denying your feelings and emotions, locking them inside, eventually begins to destroy your immune system, leaving you open to the type of illness you don’t want. I’ve learned that – and I don’t do it any more.
So many people tell me they don’t know how I accomplish what I do, after what I’ve been through. I know how it’s happened. I’ve learned the lessons this experience opened up for me.
I’m free – and the wonderful thing is, I now spend my life freeing others.
As I say at the start of my tape ‘Courage’: Courage is what you display when you feel the next step is too hard, but you screw up your strength and take that step.
| Are you looking for another life, a better way of living life or doing business?
Who do you want someone to lead you into this more effective phase of your life?
How about someone who has proved her expertise, because she’s done it – and helped thousands of others more forward?
Do you want to Disaster Proof your business?
Need help with your public speaking career – or a one off speech? Beryl is the ultimate Speakers’ Coach.
The supreme FEAR BUSTER, this courageous woman moved herself from near death back into her vibrant abundant life after cancer, because she knew how. She’ll lead you beyond your difficulties, helping you wipe them out, inspire you to believe in your own power.
And you should hear her when she starts with the ‘black humour’ hehehe