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Reading The
Signals When
Dating
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Reading The Signals When Dating
© David Newton 3/26/08
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It’s true; most of our communication is non-verbal.
So just how switched on are you when you are out meeting people? .. Or
when you are on a date? ... Or when you are having that first coffee with
a potential date?
A lot of singles will often say "yeah I think I know what you mean" -
AFTER they were told that their potential date gave them a signal but
failed to see it at that time.
But most of the time, we are on auto-pilot. We are flying the plane, but
reading the newspaper and missing the cues amply given by a date who
really wants us to get to know them better.
Here's What You Can Do To Improve Things;
A) Anticipate a good time.
If you are expecting a great time and conversation went well. You can
expect within reason that they had a good time too. If they are smiling,
and the conversation was chirpy, its a good sign.
B) Listen to the wording ...
If they say something like: "I feel like I've known you for years" -
chances are they have built a rapport with you that signals a closer
association and want to know you and be with you again soon.
C) Visual clues ... such as;
- Leaning forward
- Touching your hands or arms
- Connecting their eyes with you
- Blushing when they are talking with you
- Their eyelids are at half mast as they talk with you
If their is a consistent set of clues they are interested in you, its a
fair bet they may want to get to know you more. You maybe even get a
glance that says all you need to know.
D) Voice Tonality ...
They sound 'husky' to you on the phone
Their voice is lowered when they talk at you
Voice is again a very good indicator of interest.
Often in the 21st century we are in crowded places where listening to
voice tonality is very difficult. So it comes as no surprise that a lot of
people overlook this area of communication.
Yet, voice tonality is a very good cue because it requires a deliberate
intent to "inform" the listener of their interest. So, if you can make
sure you pick a quiet coffee location to meet your date - the effort will
be well worth it.
E) They dress sexy for you
Yes, this one can be subject to lots of subjectivity. True I've been even
caught out even miss reading it. BUT in some cases, it can be a very
obvious clue to their interest in you.
Here's Why ...
A person who does want to impress you - and exhibits a range of "other
signals" - yes all pointing to one thing - can and often does mean they
are interested in you.
Dressing to impress still holds value. And you don't have to look like a
catwalk model to get the same result as one.
Shakespeare said: "dressed in the right costume - the part practically
plays itself"
Same too for getting dressed up for a date. Some people are telling you
(at some level) they want to make an impression ON YOU.
BUT Can You Get Things Wrong?
Yes, and it's always bound to happen. We are dealing with humans remember,
human often get things mixed up.
But before you guess which way we get things wrong - hold on a minute!
In my experience a lot of singles get things wrong by being too
conservative. They often completely miss signals by a potential partner
even if these are very "in your face signals".
Here's The Big Reason Why . . .
Singles are more afraid of making a mistake and looking like a dill than
anything else. They don't want to appear to be too "forward" or being told
they were on the wrong track. It seems being embarrassed is more of a
concern than simply asking to see if there is SOME LEVEL OF INTEREST.
So, Here's What You Can Do
1. Check their feelings.
Example: "Hey, I noticed you're looking at me, can I ask you if that means
you're interested in me?"
2. Establish rapport quickly.
The longer you take to check in with a potential mate and get some
conversation going, the harder its going to get later.
3. Ask for a date then and there.
Don't wait for "the perfect time". If you feel a connection, ask them if
they would like to talk over a coffee at some nice place nearby in the
immediate moment.
You see it may only go as far as that, but if there is genuine interest,
ask again at the coffee spot for a more formal date later.
4. Read the right signals and give the right signals.
It’s fair to say some people will give off signals of affection without
even knowing it. The say things like "Hi hon how are you today?" or touch
people just as if they were a real date. Often oblivious to them is that
some people miss read this as an actual show of interest. You can save at
lot of problems later by simply be aware of how you affect others.
ALSO - the same is true for people who are "emotionless" in their
communication, it seems there are also people who no matter how much you
try to impress them, they still show absolutely no emotion on their face
when you talk with them. While yet inside they are doing mental
somersaults hearing every word you speak to them.
Learning to express yourself and to read that of others is a complex task.
But you do need to make a start.
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