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About The Author: Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D.
Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D., is the top selling author of WHY MEN LEAVE,Infusing Spiritual And Emotional Health Into Your Relationships
JOURNEY THROUGH ILLNESS AND BEYOND, and 365 WAYS TO GIVE THANKS.
Psychologist and psychotherapist, she offers a ezine, reading
material and a free message board where she answers questions and
Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D.
"The whole world is medicine What is the illness?"
There is one sure fire medicine which cures all pain
and difficulty and opens the way for your greater good. It
allows you to sleep well at night, wake up refreshed
and filled with enthusiasm for your daily tasks. When you
take this medicine obstacles evaporate and wonderful
meetings with others proliferate tremendously. This
medicine is abundantly available, has no side effects
and can be taken in large or small doses regularly.
You need no one to prescribe it. The more you take,
the sweeter it is.
This medicine is the practice of thankfulness. Notice,
I said "practice." Thankfulness of this kind must become
more than a fleeting feeling,it must become a way of
life. This way of life can also be called the way of doing
and giving, of practicing "deeds of worth." Although there
are endless cures for anxiety, one thing is impossible
- to be depressed and grateful at the same time.
Thankfulness takes many forms, but unless it is
translated into consistent action it does not have
the ongoing impact we are speaking of. Thankfulness must
become a verb. You must find a way to express it
daily, and to become constantly aware of all you have
to be grateful for. You are not then giving out of
obligation, but out of a full heart. You are no longer
aware of all you are lacking, but all you are
receiving moment by moment.
Now we are speaking of two prongs of thankfulness
practice, the practice of doing thanks, and of working
with our attention. We take our attention off our
usual self-centered focus and habitual complaining mind, and
continually make ourselves aware of what we are
receiving from the other, and what we can give in return. Most
of our attention is on the giving part as well. Even
if we do not feel we are receiving anything at the
moment, by giving to the other wholeheartedly, we
will receive a great deal in return - the joy of
living with an open heart.
When an individual is not functioning well,
the bottom line is that there has been a lack
of gratitude - they feel unappreciated, unacknowledged,
unknown for who they truly are and all they can be.
When flowers receive plenty of sun
and water, they grow unabashedly. Humans
are no different. The sun of gratitude goes a very
long way. By doing "deeds of worth", expressing our
thankfulness through actions, through giving of gifts,
emotional gifts, physical gifts, service gifts, a
strong emotional foundation is built -
a foundation which allows ones spirit to live. These deeds
must be performed consistently, much the way we brush
our teeth each day.
Here are two suggested exercises to get you under way:
1. In the morning ask yourself the following questions.
Write down the answers. What can I do to make this
day wonderful for (persons name here?) What
are they needing? How can I help supply that need?
2. In the morning ask yourself what do I have to be
grateful for today? Why should I be grateful for
this? What else do I have to be grateful for today?
In these practices we take our focus off our
expectations of the other and focus upon how we can
help them to grow. This is not a matter of self-sacrifice,
but a matter of becoming all we truly are. Through
giving to the other, we also grow. To do this
we must change our focus, giving up the tunnel vision
most of us have lived with our whole life long.
No relationship or project can falter when it is based
upon deep caring for the other and for our true
selves. Our true selves wants to give, it wants to open its
heart and sing songs. Unless our actions come
out of this foundation, no lasting well being
can occur. A great psychologist "Jourard once said,
"We become sick because we act in sickening ways."
When our actions, however, are firmly based upon
giving, and deeds of worth, this is the road to lasting
Infusing Emotional and Spiritual Health Into Your Relationship
Author Name: Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
Contact Email Address: Topspeaker@yahoo.com
Word Count: Aproximately 400
Category: Relationships / Advice
Copyright Date: June 12, 1999
Internet Address: http://www.brendashoshanna.com/
article is located in the "reading archive".
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